10 Minutes In A Scary Motel In Lynnwood, Washington

Authors Note: I thought that this story (though part of our 24 hour Seattle Visit) deserved a separate entry. Just in case you have ever considered staying in a place because the price seemed like a good deal, or you were too tired to look for a better place or you just had to go to the bathroom, take our advice...never EVER second guess your gut instinct (in fact here is a link to 2 great books all about trusting your instincts: The Gift of Fear and Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking. Nicole and I have read both of these and credit them for our decisions 9 minutes after checking in.

So Nicole and I went up to Seattle to visit friends and relatives on Wednesday, July 16th because it had been way too long since we had been up there (almost a year.) Seattle isn't on our list of favorite places to stay for a number of reasons (see left.) (Note: Both Nicole and I have lived in Seattle at different times before we met, so it's fun to visit each other's old stomping grounds.) But I had a friend that I hadn't seen for years who wanted to take us out on his boat on Lake Washington.

After spending the late afternoon cruising around the lake, we were dropped off at our car just after 8pm. We had a couple of hotel areas in mind when we drove away from Mercer Island such as University Village, Northgate Mall, Tukwila, and the base of Queen Anne Hill.

We headed north to University Village and didn't get the "vibe" that it was in our price range so we went further north. We stopped at a Hotel called the Nexus, where they wanted $180 plus tax and as far as I could tell it was just a renovated Ramada Inn (see Yelp Review Here) The fact that the guy behind the counter took a call from his personal cell phone before helping Nicole sealed the deal...we weren't staying there.

After nearly two hours of aimless driving we ended up on highway 99 (aka Aurora) and we were getting desperate. Now instinctively I knew that we should avoid no name motels on Aurora especially after putting this web page together a number of years ago when I worked in Seattle. For some reason, a modern looking motel seemed safe...it was made from stucco and looked like a Days Inn or a Motel 6.

This place (which will remain nameless until all of our credit cards have been refunded) had the right price in our time of desperation (under $70) and looked "safe."

From the moment we got out of the car, little situation indicators were telling us "DON'T STAY HERE." On the hotel sign it read "Weekly Rates $250" and the lobby, though clean, seemed sparse (maybe so people couldn't steal things?) The gentleman behind the counter was a very nice guy who, oddly enough, was also folding towels (my brain said that this is how the hotel owner keeps housecleaning staff minimal...later I would find out how minimal it was.) All of these indications and we checked in anyway.

On the advice of the hotel clerk/housekeeper, we parked in the "covered parking" area which was a euphemism for parking under the building. As I parked in one of MANY empty parking spots I saw a man walking slowly around a convertible (the top was down) Mercedes. It was by far the nicest car in the lot and had custom wheels and a gold paint job. This man seemed to be circling slowly with a plastic bag. As we passed another conspicuous car (primary held together with duct tape and garbage bags) the man started to pretended to wax the Mercedes using a napkin from inside his plastic bag.

Nicole gave me a quiet nod to let me know that she felt like this guy was somewhat harmless and we went inside. Inside we boarded the elevator to go up to the third (top) floor. The elevator was all metal inside and every square inch of it had been scratched by keys or knives of various gang signs. I have to say because every part of the elevator was vandalized...it almost looked like a beautiful art...almost.

As the doors opened to the third floor I could immediately smell intense cigarette smoke, which was odd because in the lobby a sign had posted no smoking anywhere on the premises. As we walked down the hall we could smell smoke coming from nearly every room and TVs were blaring. We arrived at our room and this was the first time I saw the key that was given to Nicole.

The key looked like it was made sometime after regular hotel keys (the typical metal ones) and a period before the common magnetic strip key. It was as if we had been handed the "8-Track" of keys. In my mind, it looked like a key that a hacker could mess with so he could open any room...like ours. I fiddled with it to get it to work and our door opened a little too easily.

Once inside the room I felt this overwhelming feeling of dread come over me. The window was wide open, the refrigerator was in the middle of the kitchenette (or I suspect was once a kitchenette,) none of the lights worked, and the floor was covered in stains.

When I say covered with stains I mean that there was more stain than carpet. It was a hyperlink blue color with stains that were lighter and significantly darker than the rest of the floor. In one corner there were freshly cut fingernails. At that point I stopped looking at the floor and told Nicole that we were not staying.

Unfortunately we had been in the car for hours and Nicole needed to use the bathroom. If you want to hear about what was in that bathroom...you will have to ask her. Her story when she got out traumatizes me to this day.

While I had been waiting her I turned on the TV. By pure coincidence, it was tuned a station airing American History X at one of the most gruesome points of the movie. If you have seen the movie, you know the scene. At this point I was getting a little worried about spending another second in the motel.

Nicole came out of the bathroom and we immediately went downstairs (via the stairs this time) which reeked of urine. As soon as we walked into the lobby the guy behind the desk knew exactly what we would say next. He said that he understood and he refunded the money immediately. I could tell by the way he handled the situation and his look on his face that this wasn't the first time people had asked for their money back.

We walked back to the "covered parking lot" to find that same man hovering over the same Mercedes. He was talking to a woman in the parking lot and I decided to take a better look at him. Initially I had thought he was homeless, but it was because of his haircut and unshaven appearance. When I took a closer look, his hair was intentionally feathered in a mullet fashion simialarly to how Chuck Norris looked in the 80s. This man had acid wash jeans and very expensive looking shoes. I now believed that the Mercedes was in fact his car and he was a pimp. I decided not to make too much eye contact and quickly tossed the bags in the trunk.

We drove around for an hour and a half more looking for a reasonably priced hotel (under $200) in the Seattle area. Everything in the area was booked so hotels were able to name their price (which in this experience I learned that all the hotels know the status of competing hotels occupancy levels in the Seattle area and can adjust their rate accordingly.) We were exhausted and I was seriously considering driving back to Portland in the middle of the night.

Fortunately we found a Choice Hotels catalog that I had picked up on one of our many road trips. This little gem has every hotel in the U.S. listed including approximate rate per night. Nicole found a Comfort Inn in Federal Way and we set our course down Highway 99, planning to cross over at Sea-Tac International Airport to I-5.

It was 11:30 pm, Nicole was nearly in tears from exhaustion, and I was edgy and still recovering from the motel in Lynnwood when we hit a dead stop traffic jam just outside of Sea Tac. I started to laugh and Nicole stopped talking completely. It took us another half hour to get to Federal Way.

We did finally make it to the hotel and our stay was wonderful. Ironically in the morning we had some problems with the hot water and the hotel actually gave us some of our money back. When we got back in the car to head home the next morning we figured out that because of the refund that Comfort Inn gave us, our stay there ended up being cheaper than that of the Pimpin' Lynnwood Motel!

The rest of the drive home (which was the long way) I will cover in the next few days.